17 years ago today

This time of year...the fall air, the changing leaves....it always brings back memories...some good, some bad. Today is one of the bad days. Today, 17 years ago, my father died. He was probably the most important man in my life. My dad was my hero. Y'know that they say that time heals all wounds. I beg to differ. It may lessen the pain, only because it's harder to remember how he sounded or what he looked like, or how his hugs felt, but the pain is still there. I miss him terribly every day.

I was 18 years old, in my first semester of college. I remember that morning so clearly. He was up when I was leaving for my classes. We had breakfast together. He hugged me goodbye. When I came home after lunch, he was lying on the kitchen floor. I called the ambulance and attempted CPR, but I knew he was gone. That day haunted me for a very long time. I had nightmares. Finally, one night, in a dream or some kind of weird subconscious state, he came to me, hugged me and said goodbye. From then on, the dreams stopped and I was at peace. The hurt still lingered, but I knew he was safe. And I knew that he loved me.

This day....this horrible day 17 years ago rocked my world. Someone so important to me was taken far too early. The only thing that eases my mind is to know that he was SO important, that God needed him for something bigger and better than he could do on this earth. So, on this day 17 years later, I honor my dad with a HUGE thank you. Thank you daddy, for being the World's Best Dad. I miss you.